Blog Entry#7: From Trauma to Trust — Building Stronger Connections, One Conversation at a Time

Hey everyone! Thanks for stopping by my final blog. I’ve saved the most personal and meaningful story for last, one that connects everything we’ve learned in class to real life. This post is about the power of interpersonal communication in healing and growth, especially within intimate relationships. It's about active listening, empathy, and most of all, how small communication choices can lead to big changes in someone's life.

A while back, I had a deep conversation with a close relative who had been in an emotionally abusive relationship. She shared that the relationship had ended and restarted about seven times. As she opened up, she began to recognize the pattern of intermittent reinforcement, you know, those random moments of kindness that came after emotional harm. These created a trauma bond, where she felt stuck but couldn’t explain why. Listening to her, I focused on using active listening, reflected her emotions, nodded, asked clarifying questions, and gave her my full attention. I was also mindful of emotional contagion and how her sadness could deeply impact me, but I stayed grounded so I could support her without becoming overwhelmed myself.

I also used what Floyd calls empathic listening; I really put myself in her shoes. I kept unconditional positive regard at the center, meaning I accepted what she shared without judgment. I really believed this helped her feel safe enough to engage in self-disclosure, which is the open sharing of thoughts and feelings (that’s key in building trust). I noticed how powerful it was to use open-ended questions and intentional silence, giving her space to process emotions. Her story wasn’t just one of heartbreak; it was one of resilience and emotional insight.

From a theoretical perspective, this experience reflected so many concepts we’ve studied. For example, she experienced cognitive dissonance, a disconnect between believing he loved her and seeing the harmful behaviors. She struggled with emotion regulation, especially identifying and expressing her true feelings. Floyd describes this as affective forecasting, predicting how future events will make us feel, which often leads to uncertainty and anxiety in relationships.

She also engaged in uncertainty reduction theory, trying to understand his unpredictable behavior by asking more and more questions. Sadly, his evasive responses only increased her stress. Also, watching others in healthy relationships sparked something in her, perhaps social cognitive theory kicked in. After hearing her out, we think that she saw boundary-setting and positive emotional expression modeled by friends, giving her a new vision for what she deserved.

Together, these ideas helped explain the relational dynamics she was stuck in and reminded me that the roots of abuse often run deeper than we realize. It’s not always easy to just “walk away,” and communication plays a huge role in how survivors begin to reclaim their voice.

Now, with these insights, we brainstormed some tools to build her confidence and regain control:

Assertive Communication: Using “I” statements like “I feel hurt when you yell” instead of blaming. This builds clarity and respect.

Cognitive Restructuring: Rewriting negative thoughts like “I deserve this” into more realistic ones like “I deserve safety.”

Social Support Networks: Reaching out to people who provide emotional or instrumental support, like help with safety plans, or just being there to listen to her.

Safety Planning: Identifying trusted contacts, safe places, and backup plans.

SMART Goals: Setting small wins, like journaling once a week or practicing boundary-setting.

With each baby step, I could see how Floyd’s framework of interdependence (where people rely on one another while still maintaining autonomy) was at the center of this. Also, our talks were about commitment, too, not just to a relationship, but to self-growth and healing.

On a broader level, I looked into programs which offer both survivor support and education for offenders. While it’s effective when paired with therapy, trauma-informed care must be prioritized to avoid retraumatizing survivors.

Ethically, my goal was to uphold confidentiality, respect her autonomy, and do no harm (non-maleficence). With this family member being VERY close to my heart, I really tried to avoid overstepping. If this were in a professional setting, this would mean staying within my role, practicing cultural competence, and seeking supervision to avoid vicarious trauma. Studies show that survivors who receive emotionally validating responses are more likely to seek help again. As we have learned, communication isn’t just a soft skill; it’s a lifesaving one.

This final blog reminded me how theory, strategy, and heart all come together in real-life situations. Through listening, empathy, and applying what we’ve learned, we can be a light in someone’s darkest moment. Remember, our role isn’t to fix others, but to walk alongside them and create a space for healing, this is where the true power of communication shines! Being able to be present and supportive is always a beautiful thing!

If you or someone you know is experiencing abuse, there are 24-hour hotlines like the National Domestic Violence Hotline (800-799-7233), shelters, and trauma-informed therapists trained to help.